Decisions that have helped us grow, #GroupPost, #DailyWritingPrompt – FIT IS A FEMINIST ISSUE

Describe a decision you made in the past that helped you learn or grow.

Cate

In 2008, I decided on an impulse to go to Uganda for the first time to connect more closely with a grassroots project I’d been peripherally supporting for a couple of years. The 52 kids in the project became so real to me in that one week visit that I ended up becoming the project director and running it since then. I had no idea how to create and run a non-profit, raise funds, mobilize a volunteer community, co-create long-term learning and development, build deep reflexivity about being a white person in an African context, understand cross-cultural dynamics, adapt and respond to an endless array of complicated needs, and experience myself as capable of a whole new kind of unconditional love. That decision reshaped me as adventurous, persistent, curious and committed to equity and social justice in whole new ways. I would not be who I am today in any way — work, life, values, understanding of the world — if I hadn’t made that choice 17 years ago.

Diane

When I turned 40, I bought a comfortable dress in a fabric covered with pink flowers. I decided I was done with trying to fit in in order to succeed in a patriarchal and stuffy workplace: no more boxy navy suits! I would still do my best and try to be successful, but I would do it on my own terms. That included being a role model and mentor to younger female colleagues, and having a little fun. I didn’t make it as high up the corporate ladder as I might have liked, but I received numerous departmental and one government-wide award for my management skills, especially in a crisis.

Elan

The decision I made was *about* decision-making: namely accepting that I can’t have everything in this life (at least not at the same time). I can’t both have kids and not have kids. I can either build a life at home or really dig into travelling abroad. I can choose to get really good at one thing, or spend my time trying lots of different things. Giving up the expectation that I could always “have my cake and eat it too” allowed me to manage my anxiety about making tough choices and regretting paths not chosen. For me, this TED talk is a great watch for support of this thinking:

Sam

The biggest life changing decision I’ve made is a decision I made together with Jeff, to invite my parents to move to London so my mother could take care of the kids while we worked. That was 27 years ago. I still think all the time that this was one of the best decisions I’ve made in my life. My mother and I have been sharing a house ever since. I think having an expanded sense of family has been good for us. Now the youngest has one foot out the door , the middle child is back home for college, and my mother is still helping and we’re helping her too. The initial decision was a bit of a leap but extended, multigenerational family living was the right choice for us.

Nicole

When I had been at a law firm I was working at for 15 years, where I was making really good money, doing the same job I had been doing for a long time, but growing stagnant, I left without knowing what I would do next. I have learned so much over the years, even though I took a huge step backwards, in salary, but, I have grown so much from that decision. It hasn’t always been easy or a linear path and I would probably be making a lot more even now (almost 15 years later) but it definitely helped me learn the value of pivoting/taking risks/not accepting growing stagnant.

Tracy

My 2018 decision to get a divorce gave me breathing room to reflect on what really matters to me, regroup, and step into a life that feels truer to who I am. Not to say that I was completely inauthentic in my first marriage, but I made some compromises I wouldn’t make today. It is a definite sign of growth and clarity that (1) I wouldn’t make them today and (2) my current relationship doesn’t require, for its survival, that I make concessions of that kind.